"I don't even want my dead bones to touch dead poor people bones."
American Hero Donald Trump wants to build a 1.5 acre cemetery on the back nine of his golf course, presumably so the tottering old bastards that pay $300,000 for membership can just keel over once they finish, and he doesn’t have to call the police. In my imagination, it’s just an acre-and-a-half ditch that they roll bodies into, after he steals your watch, wallet and shoes.
Perhaps what’s even more grim is that what he’s considering charging isn’t even close to as expensive as it is in other, and I can’t believe I’m typing this, “high-end cemeteries”. Some places cost upwards of a million bucks to throw your bones in the ground and give you a dirty rock to carve your name in that birds shit on.
"Thanks for the memories, Grandpa."
Granted, most of them will probably get shoved into vaults, practically BEGGING the zombie plague to ressurect them, creating a file cabinet of doom. But what do I know?
"Johnnie Cochran is filed under the C's." or "Some zombies might fall and break his or her neck on the way out, depending on how high they were shelved."
–Murdock (Listen to our PODCAST!)
